Breanne’s Story
What a journey both physically and mentally. A ride that no one can ever prepare you for because everyone's is different. I am beyond grateful to have our beautiful daughter earth side as I was told I may never be able to fall pregnant due to being diagnosed with endometriosis in my late teens. Imagine my excitement when we found out we were pregnant, a feeling of absolute euphoria.
After almost an entire pregnancy of morning sickness (I don’t know why they call it that because let’s be real, it’s all day sickness), weight loss of 7kgs and one hospital admission, I was ready to meet our babe but not without one last spanner in the works. Our girl decided to flip posterior a week before she was due and after a few attempts wouldn’t flip back. I should have known then that she would be a strong minded woman.
My obstetrician told me to consider my pain relief options prior to labour as the positioning was going to make delivery very uncomfortable and she wasn’t wrong. At 1:30am on the couch (pregnancy insomnia is a real thing) my waters broke and it was go time!
Giving birth was one of the hardest, most emotional, yet rewarding experiences of my life. In the early hours our girls heart beat was unable to be found so we had a foetal probe put on her. I was unable to lay on my left side as she would go into distress (imagine my surprise when the epidural only worked on the right hand side of my body because of this). After what felt like forever and with a little assistance of a vontouse, she was here.
I was exhausted, emotional but when she let out her cry and she came to my chest, my world stopped and it was me and her forever.
I always wondered what the recovery would be like and let me tell you it was hard both physically and mentally. With a second degree tear and in hospital in the midst of a covid outbreak, I wanted out so we left the hospital less than 24 hours after giving birth. Looking back, I probably left a little too soon but my village was strong and I couldn’t have gotten through the first 6 weeks without them. Simple things like taking a shower or getting in and out of a chair hurt like hell and as any mumma knows, you are up and down like a yo-yo looking after your babe.
I’d like to think I was relatively active person prior to pregnancy. I was going to F45 4-5 times a week and walking on weekends. However, as I transitioned to becoming a mum that changed. I was scared to do intense exercise in case I risked the babies health and too sick to do gentler movements. To this day, I’m still trying to get back to my level of fitness pre pregnancy.
At 4 weeks postpartum, I decided I would go for a walk around the block, nothing too wild just a stroll. I made it 10 minutes up the road before having to turn back feeling like everything in my body was going to fall out. I remember calling my partner in tears telling him he would need to meet me to push the stroller home. For another few weeks I struggled to leave the house mostly out of fear of that feeling again. It’s amazing how housebound you can become.
Each day I would look at myself in the mirror and wonder where my body went. It didn’t matter that my partner told me I was beautiful and an amazing mum. I felt disgusting, squishy and had minimal control over my waterworks.
Finally, I decided to set myself some weekly goals to try and move my body a little more than before and get my mental health back on track. I kept telling myself the sensation will ease if I get stronger and to some degree it did.
We are now 9 months into our postpartum journey and I am still setting myself weekly goals and am about to participate in a 30 day challenge to help me keep me focusing on myself amongst the madness of mum, work & life in general.
My main focus is to be strong and healthy not just for me but for my daughter.
-Brea