Tamara’s Story
My main form of exercise has always been playing soccer. Soccer is something that I have been a part of for over 15 years, so it's not only my preferred form of exercise to attain physical wellbeing, but it also plays a big part in my role in the community and hugely contributes to a boost in my social and mental wellbeing as I truly love the people I spend time with there and also find it a great way to decompress after a busy day at work.
When I first fell pregnant, the general health advice was that my current level of exercise could be maintained while comfortable to do so, but to not push myself beyond my normal limits. I was relieved by this advice, as our intensity at soccer was often high at the level I was playing at and I hoped to not have to miss out on participating for at least the first few weeks of pregnancy. The main reason for this was that soccer was a huge source of enjoyment and benefit for me, but secondly was that if I could continue to participate, I would be able to keep the pregnancy news to myself initially until I was comfortable sharing.
Until 9 weeks pregnant, I continued training with my squad at a high intensity, but I started finding very quickly that following a session I became increasingly stiff and sore compared to normal. I also started experiencing sciatica pain down my left leg which made it difficult to go about my day to day tasks. One night after training, the sciatica pain was so bad that I struggled to bear weight on that leg and struggled to even walk from my bed to the bathroom. When I next saw my Obstetrician, I mentioned how I was feeling post-soccer and she advised that I need to listen to my body and to stop that level of exercise. This meant I basically had to give up soccer for the next 8+ months, which was really hard for me to accept. Because I wasn't ready to disclose my pregnancy to the group for a few more weeks, with the help of our team physio I had to pretend I had an injury to buy time.
For the remainder of my pregnancy, I helped out with coaching soccer and tried to walk as much as possible to keep moving.
I found that while pregnant, I often lacked energy and didn't feel very motivated to exercise. I was also very hungry so was eating more than usual and then feeling even less motivated to exercise, instead often opting for a night relaxing on the couch. I put on 19kg while pregnant.
After having my son Jack, I was very determined to return to the sport I love, at the grade I was previously playing, but I had no idea how challenging that would be in reality. My birth required an episiotomy, but otherwise went smoothly. The initial healing period took 6 weeks, which is the amount of time I was told that I must wait as a minimum before I was allowed to participate in soccer again. That time period absolutely dragged for me, as soccer was a part of my identity I was yearning to regain after so much time away and after so much had changed for me since becoming a new mum. I felt like I'd lost my old self, and that soccer would be a part of myself that I could find again.
At exactly 6 weeks postpartum, and literally the day following my physical examination and clearance by the Obstetrician, I returned to soccer. It was physically and mentally MUCH harder than I had anticipated. When your brain is telling your body to move in a way you used to be more than capable of doing, and your body just can't do it anymore, it's a very strange and sobering experience. It can also be very frustrating and concerning, causing you to wonder if you'll ever get back to your pre-baby capabilities again. I felt like my body was in slow motion and couldn't keep up with my brain. Every muscle and limb felt heavy. Every movement felt five times harder than it used to feel. I remember tripping over a few times during the session and I felt embarrassed.
I would be lying if I said that it wasn't disheartening, because it was. Part of me considered giving up as it is a mental struggle to accept that you aren't capable like you used to be, especially for skills you had spent 10+ years mastering. But then I remembered that I had birthed a child. And I remembered that my body is so much more capable than I give it credit for. This spurred me to stay focused and work through the grind and to be gentler on my body. It has been an exasperatingly slow process for me, but 9 months post-birth, I can say that I have made it back playing with the same group at the same competitive level.
Am I as physically capable as I used to be pre-pregnancy? I don't think that I am. But I think I am pretty close, which is something that I am really proud of.
Something I wish that I had done differently is that I wish I had been more aware and educated before pregnancy of what to expect. Everything you learn pre-bubs is focused on your baby and how to care for your baby. Almost nothing you are taught is about your own expectations as a mother, how to navigate the changes you will encounter, how to take care of yourself physically and mentally and how to create realistic expectations so that you don't feel alone/disappointed. If all of this was more of a focus, it would allow for us women to be in a better state of mind to be a better and healthier mum and in turn, enjoy our little ones.
